So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
