I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize