dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
