I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize