I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
