wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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