Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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