Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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