Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
