So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Quick, to the slutcave!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
