This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
