If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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