The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Found the puke drawer
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
