Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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