I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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