Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
