That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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