Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
FUCK WHALES
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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