I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
