Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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