So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
