I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
