yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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