mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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