i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Still dying that you shit outside
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize