i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
