omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
