So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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