he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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