I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
