please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
