Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize