We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
