is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
