I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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