I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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