Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize