So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
