i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
