So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
