she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just sent this text using only my big toe
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
