And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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