I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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