IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
