Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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