i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
