I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
