Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
