All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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