Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
