Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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