Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
