my phone needs a breathalizer
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
