i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
