I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
