I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
