Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
