Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize