I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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