i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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