There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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