Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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