Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
