are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My vagina just recognized that song.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
where are my eyebrows?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
