is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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