Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
