I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize