You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
