but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
