Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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