hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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