I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
