please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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