So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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