He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize