He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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