people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
