I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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