Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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