Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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