I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
