think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have fence marks all over my body
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize